I feel as if Netflix has ruined a lot of our expectations of love and I also feel like that’t not entirely our fault. I mean think about it. Our parents had dreamy movie stars to fawn over while they grew up but..in all honesty the men they were actually dating were just as dreamy. It was as if the actors were based off of real life men.
Nowadays it’s different. The men in these movies and shows hardly exist. They are impossible to find. We are looking for George Clooneys, and Dennis Quaid’s in a sea of KFeds and Tygas. So, by default we are immersing ourselves in these relationships and these shows with honestly no guys comparing to these men that we’ve grown up with.
I mean, we should get this out in the open right this moment. I am obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy…like actually obsessed guys. I mean you hear that and you think I am mildly overboard..No I am extremely overboard. I own a teddy bear that wears scrubs and is officially named “Bearedith Grey.” I have a sweater specifically dedicated for the nights I watch Greys, and yes occasionally I angry treat at Shonda Rhimes, I am only human after all.
I know every character, their backstory, what high school was like for them, and honest to God probably how they are in bed(p.s Mark is amazing RIP). I know almost every line, every case, and I feel as if I could be a surgeon.I know that GSW means Gunshot Wound. I know that 2 doses of EPI is given when they crash, and I know all of Miranda Bailey’s rules. With this obsession came the “MerDer” obsession. I have been entranced by Derek Shepperd from day 1. I love everything about him, there was nothing he could do that upset me. I loved how he loved Meredith, I loved how he talked to her, I loved when he was angry at her, I loved how he could be so shiny and perfect and love someone dark and twisty. I myself am dark and twisty so obviously I felt very connected to Derek. From this day on I wanted…no NEEDED to marry Derek. I was set. I wasn’t going to settle for anyone less than Derek. No guy I ever dated was good enough because they weren’t Derek. When people asked me what kind of guy I wanted to marry I would show them MerDer scenes. I was quite frankly, in love.
But then something happened. I had already watched all 11 seasons of Grey’s anatomy 3 times so I decided to try a new show for awhile. A show called New Girl. Boy, was this a terrible idea. I suddenly was falling for this new, and completely opposite man. NIC MILLER. He was perfect in every way. They way he loved Jess, they way they argued, they way they were completely and totally best friends, the way they got drunk together, the way they communicated. He was a slob, wonderfully sarcastic, and lets face it a babe. He was her best friend and their relationship was everything I wanted. I was so enthralled by this new relationship I was doubting my love for a relationship like Mer and Der. What if I had fallen in love with a different kind of relationship? This terrified me because I knew there was honestly no possible way for these two men to be mixed into one, trust me I pictured it and it’s not pretty.
In both scenarios the boy is wildly in love with the girl, and he shows it in very different way. In both scenarios they are completely comfortable with on another but in totally different ways. In both relationships the girl is a little messed up and completely scared of committing to a relationship and one guy(AKA me.) I feel like(and have been told numerous times) I am a hard person to date because I hate excessive cuddling, I don’t see a need for us to text all day, I will expect you to be completely secure and never jealous, and I will want you to show me you love me in very different ways from most girls. And I feel like Meredith is like that and so is Jess. So what do I do guys? What do I want?
Anyways, what I am saying is…that maybe netflix has ruined me and made me feel like I have to have one of these loves…But also maybe it’s helped me, helped me realize that I am never going to settle for anything less than that kind of relationship. So here’s to my future. Will I choose Derek? or Nic? The world may never know…But I think I actually know the truth and maybe I just don’t want to admit it. Cheers to my love life, may it be as entertaining to you guys as MerDer and Nic&Jess are to me.
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Next stop Thailand (and a couple of connecting flights)