It's your girl, Hannah (in case you had thought someone hacked my account).
So remember last week how I was all like "teaching is so hard" Yeah, this week I had a real life emotional breakdown HA. Imagine this, I am trying to teach my 3rd class of the day and the 1st two classes were literally HELL. Like, these kids are 2 years old so I don't even know how they have it in them to destroy me within 2 hours but they did a really good job. I now see why they call it the terrible 2's. I also can now see why people decide not to have children. So I am finally in my homeroom class and I am thinking, "finally kids that like me and are semi decent" boy, was I wrong. THEY WERE WORSE. So halfway through class Lily explains to me that I am just being annoying, and that's why no one is listening to me, and I shit you not I started crying. Like full on begging them to be quiet while crying. They all went silent and just stared at me while Lily is trying to explain that by "annoying" she meant "not annoying". After about 5 minutes of crying Lily stands up and says, "Ok guys I think we should listen to Teacher Hannah." So that was really cool. I really couldn't get myself together and was a hot mess all day, not hot in the "looks" sense, but in the sense that it's 95 degrees here and I have to wear all black. So if you were to ask me if teaching was getting better I would probably say yes and no. Some days I am obsessed with the kids and I think they are adorable and cute, other days I think they are actually spawns of satan and have weekly meetings on how to ruin my life. Shout out to every teacher I ever had, I have NO idea how you didn't just start hitting me as a child, you probably should've.
Lily keeps me sane. Although she always calls my lessons "damn boring" and calls me annoying most days I know for a fact that she actually likes me. She told me. One day in class she was being particularly loud and I asked her if just for one day she could act like she liked me. Her response was, "of course I like you, I like you everyday." SO that made me happy. This week she was asking me numerous personal questions. One about my dad. She already knows that he passed away but the other day in class she asked me how he passed away. I thought to myself "ok she's 5 years old, make it simple" so I told her that is lungs just stopped working. She looked at me and said, "Were you just too lazy to try CPR? Like you know that would have got his lungs working right?" I explained to her that it's more complicated than that, she looked at me with the most serious face ever and says, "So you mean to tell me that his lungs stopped working, and then the rest of his organs just died too?" I was just like yeah Lily, sure haha. She is just so forward with her questions and I love that and hate that about her. I have no idea what I would do without her. Like, how is a kid this cool? She is so intimidating and she's 5 years old. Lily is going places, like seriously. She also was asking about my dating life the other day. I was explaining to her that I like some people. but nothing serious. She explained to me that she was so happy I wasn't dating anyone because "marriage makes no sense and is pointless." Like how is she this cynical at 5 years old. She makes me laugh out loud every single day.
Anyways, this week was a lot of book writing, laying by the pool, and reading. It's such a foreign concept for me to just be able to sit and do what I want. I am used to 18 credits, a full time job, and being involved with clubs at school. It's like the wildest thing that I can do whatever I want. In classic Hannah fashion, I signed up for all of these free online college classes you can take from Ivy League schools. So now I am taking college classes for free, for no credit, just because I can't stand not being busy. I am now enrolled in America's Unwritten Constitution, Moral Foundations of Politics, JuryX: Deliberations for Social Change, and Revolutionary Ideas: Utility, Justice, Equality, Freedom. So here's to becoming a better informed human in 2017.
The coolest thing about moving to Thailand so far is the personal growth. I am so much more aware of who I want to be, and how I want to live my life. I am spending less time on social media and more time writing, and learning. I stopped following every single Kardashian on social media (if you know me, this is a huge deal) and stopped obsessing over my looks. I feel like I am just so dedicated to being smarter, more critical in my thinking, and an all around better person. Being in Thailand with no other distractions has really helped me pin point what makes me happy, and what doesn't. When you have hours a day to do whatever you want you really start to notice what makes you feel good and what doesn't. Reading, writing, and learning make me so happy. Facebook, Instagram, and celebrities don't make me happy. I am just really growing and that makes me so happy. 2017 is so kick ass. But also lowkey I really miss home and my friends, but I promise when I come home I am going to be way cooler than I was when I left. Pinky Promise.
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Next stop Thailand (and a couple of connecting flights)