I'd like to give a quick hello to the 3 people that read this blog on occasion,
The rest of you can subscribe or GTFO. JK. I love you, please don't leave.
So this week was like one of those really terrible weeks, that turned into one of the best weeks of my life. I promise that makes sense in my head.
This weekend was so fun. On Saturday we woke up and went to the market with our friend Pat. She lives down the road and is just the best. She is 28 and owns 10 cats. She is always so nice. She took us to her favorite Thai restaurant and it was SO GOOD. Later that day we were picked up by a teacher we work with named Sharp. She took us to this Buddhist festival, the Golden Buddha, the Chinese temple, and this folk museum. I loved the Chinese temple. It was on top of a hill and had the most amazing view. After that, we went to this cafe where you eat like sno cone things and hang out with bunnies. It was super different but also pretty neat. After that we went to the night market and for some reason it was just so damn fun. Like I bought way more than I should have, everything was fun and it just felt magical. It was just like a really good day. Partly because I my head was in a better space, but partly because I love the people I am with.
ON THE OTHER HAND
Teaching was SO hard this week. I just sucked. We teach different subjects every week and this week I was on gym, which is so freaking hard. Like try teaching a physical education that involves the children constantly speaking english when they don't know english ya know? It was basically terrible. All day everyday I was just begging them to stop screaming, stop touching my stuff, ect. Like they were just little devils this week. I love them, but like seriously how do people deal with children? Like on a daily basis? Shout out to all you moms out there, I couldn't do it.
Here is a list of things I thought I would never have to repeat 100x a day
"No thai, english only"
"Stop touching my boobs"
"Seriously the next person to climb under my dress is going outside"
"I don't care if it's a made up language and it's not thai, if it's not english don't say it"
"Please stop climbing on the table"
"I don't care that he hit you, you've been hitting him for 15 minutes"
SO, as you might've guessed all week I was just like ugh I want to go home, this sucks. Like seriously every single day was just another day of me hating everything about being here. It was super emotionally taxing. I just wanted to be back in college, and back with my friends. I just felt like I was missing out on so much. But then something happened. I was sitting on the floor listening to sad music feeling sorry for myself when I realized that I might never get to live in a foreign country again...and I was like "HANNAH WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COMPLAINING YOU LIVE IN THAILAND" I snapped myself out of it and immediately just started working on my book and wrote some of the best content I have ever written.
See the thing is...I was clinging onto my life at home. I was thinking about everything I was missing, and everyone I was missing. I was so focused on what my life was going to be like when I got home and planning my future that I wasn't living here, I wasn't living in this moment. I had to just let go of all of my wanting to control and just live. I threw myself into living the life I am living right here, right now. I might never have an opportunity like this again ya know? Like, I don't have to work, I don't have to go to school. Other than teaching, I get to fill my days with whatever I want to do. I can read, research, and write. I can explore, meet new people, and try new things. I can workout, learn a language, learn piano, I can literally learn anything. I am living this dream life and I was so stuck on my old life that I didn't even know it. So now I am here, living my life here. I am dedicating my time to living a kick ass life while I have the chance. I am living in Thailand, HOLY HELL. So I'm happy guys. I am SO happy I moved to Thailand, it has already taught me so much. I don't ever want to come home. But like to the point that I literally researched flights to other countries from Thailand. I just love traveling so much, there really is nothing like it. I am so madly in love with my life right now.
Funny things Lily said this week (I literally have to keep a list on my phone)
- *while talking to another girl student who was pouting "Well, have you ever thought that maybe you're just like too emotional?"
-"All I really wanted was no fighting with boys, but here we are"
-"This is damn boring"
- "I'm not an emotional person, I am a usual person"
-*Me disciplining boys in my class and asking if they are sorry "Of course they are sorry look at their faces for God's sake"
-"See, American kids are getting so fat because of these exact candies you are giving us'
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Next stop Thailand (and a couple of connecting flights)